Thank you for checking me out. My name is Dalila (pronounced phonetically). My belief is that everyone deserves to be loved fully and passionately. Moreover, I think that we enjoy giving love more than receiving. The purpose of life is to be able to love fully in my opinion.
But, at some point in our life, we started believing that we need to prove ourselves to be loved. Missing experience for most of us was receiving that unconditional love, being loved for exactly who we are. Although our parents might've loved us, we didn't feel it because they always expected us to change.
Little realized that she needs to be attuned to others' instead of her own needs. So, there is this deep need for love, but at the same time, you may not believe that you deserve it.
I've studied this for so many years, and I'm consistently taking advanced training about how our early experience affects our adult life. In my work with clients, I utilize this knowledge paired with a body-mind oriented approach. All this experience is stored in your body.
When we work together, I help you learn how to access your emotions, be more aware of them, and integrate them with your thoughts and mind. This kind of work can help you understand yourself and make the best decisions that are true to yourself.
Naturally, being in tune with yourself leads to increased self-esteem and confidence. You know who you are, what you want, and you are not shy to go for it.
Only then, you can find the right partner that shares the same values as you and who can love you back as much as you are ready to receive it.
Similarly, if you are already in a relationship, you will be able to express your needs to your partner in the ways that will build a deeper bond instead of triggering him to be defensive.
I hope that my short story can inspire you. I was born and raised in Bosnia, former Yugoslavia on the banks of the beautiful river Una. In this part of the world, there are so many cultural influences. Throughout history, our region was plagued by many wars. We have been occupied by many conquerors including Romans, Turks, Austrohungarians, and Germans. After World War II we became a socialist country, but much more open and independent in comparison to Warsaw Pact countries.
Life was pretty good. I grew up with the ideas of equality and hope for the future of our civilization. We didn’t have big mentions or expensive cars, but we lived quite well. We went on winter and summer vacation every year. It was good until the civil war started. I was fortunate to escape the atrocities while away in college. However, I was unable to see my family for several years.
Beautiful river Una
The reason why I describe a brief history of my life and my country is that it’s related to my life-long passion, helping women find their voice and happiness. While growing up in our egalitarian society, something rubbed me the wrong way. While girls and women were encouraged to participate in the education and economy equally, they were still expected to stick to the old gender and societal roles stemming from the variety of religions in the region. Thus, women were working full time and also expected to do all the chores around the house, while husbands were relaxing reading the newspaper.
Also, young girls, such as I were expected to be home on time, while boys had more freedom. For instance, although I was older than my brother, I had less freedom than him when I hit puberty. Before that age, they didn’t care that much. It was obviously an attempt by my parents to protect the female child from developing sexuality. This hypocrisy didn’t sit well with me. I’ve become a young feminist and a rebel in my family, school, and town.
We, women, are judged for all our choices regardless of where we live. If we are stay-at-home mothers but not working on our careers, we receive messages that we are inadequate. Similarly, when we focus on our intellectual or career pursuits, we are judged as selfish or lacking family values. We get numerous mixed messages from the media on a daily basis. We are encouraged by some hard-core feminists to demonstratively throw our bras and burn them, while marketers appeal to our insecurities and try to sell us products or services that will supposedly make us feel better. Finding the balance between all of these values has been a challenge for me, as it is for many women.
Growing up and facing my deep emotional desires, I’ve come to understand that we women are very complex. We have a natural yearning for love and connection and are influenced by different cultural demands and expectations of how women should behave, feel, love, etc… I feel women are influenced by all these conflicting societal messages around the world in similar ways.
Most of us naturally want deep emotional connection in romantic relationships, a loving relationship with our children, successful careers, etc. We are also pressured to look good, be sexy, and yet be humble and demure. We are judged on how we dress or don’t dress. No matter what choices we make, there will be someone who will judge us for it. And, the worst of all, we often feel inadequate trying to meet all these expectations. We wind up being our own worst critic. My quest is to help women find inner peace and satisfaction with who they are and what they want.
As already stated, we women are complex beings. What do you expect me to be like after hearing I’m a rebel and feminist? You may think that romantic relationships are not important to me. Well, this was one of my deepest yearnings in life. And, as cheesy as it sounds, it’s one of the most important aspects of the majority of women I work with. I want you to know that you can work through your limiting beliefs and insecurities that prevent you from having a happy relationship.
I’ve always wanted to be a therapist. Since I was a child, I was reading psychology books. At the time when I was thinking about my future career, it was not so easy to get a job in the psychology field in my country.
Thus, I chose a high school geared towards mathematics, programming, and natural sciences. While I was preparing for the entry exams to the best colleges in the former Yugoslavia, I’ve realized that this is not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I decided to go back to my old love, psychology.
Although education in Yugoslavia was free, getting into the psychology program was very difficult. When I think about this, I want to praise my young self for doing it. I was able to pass all the exams and be one of the few chosen for the program. Although I haven’t finished this program, I enjoyed my student days until the war started.
I’ve arrived in the USA in 1996. Although I started working on my Psychology degree in Belgrade, former Yugoslavia, I had to start my college education from scratch here. I needed to complete ESL (English As a Second Language) courses here, and then continue pursuing my bachelor’s and master’s degree in Psychology. I graduate from UCLA Summa Cum Laude and Departmental Honors for working on a scientific research project in health psychology.
After that, I went to Pepperdine University and obtained my master’s degree in clinical psychology. Now, when I look back I think I was crazy to do all of that in a foreign language. What was I thinking? I could’ve been an engineer or a fashion designer.
But, I’m proud and happy that I pursued my most important interests. It goes to tell you that you can do whatever you put your mind to. When I just came to the country I spoke very little English, and now I have a degree and license in the profession that requires very high verbal skills.
I just hope that this story inspires you to pursue your dreams as well. We succeed when we decide that there is no other option and then pursue our goal. Similarly, happiness and relationship skills can be learned. There are skills involved in this, and you too can learn them. I'm here to support you.
If you have any questions, you are welcome to ask them here. I answer your questions from here via email.
If you are interested in working with me, you are welcome to book your free session.
I know it's not easy to sign up for relationship coaching. After all, you are not buying a little chachki in a souvenir shop. That's why I want to describe how working with me would potentially be. This mini-course is exactly about that.
It's important that you feel comfortable and that you feel that I can help you. It has to be the right fit.